Struggles with mental health have been a recurring theme throughout my own life, and many of those closest to me. I had severe depression and suicidal thoughts during much of my thirties. I saw my mum battle depression and eating disorders when I was in my twenties. And I have tried to support my wife with her mental health in the last decade, including two lengthy hospital stays. It is within this context that I have wanted to write lyric to lovingly speak into these struggles, breaking the cycles of negativity with beautiful thoughts.
Beautiful Thoughts – Tracklist
- Beautiful Thoughts
- Awakening
- Lullaby Love
- Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire
- Blue Sky Days
- Love Tapestry
- 7-7-7 Radio Heaven
- Encourage
- What-sow-ever
- The Lollipop Man And Me
- Garden Of My Mind
- 360 Love
- God Loves Me
- Everything
- Stars
I have written many of these songs in partnership with my wife, to enable her to find her voice within the challenges. One of my favourite tracks, “The Lollipop Man And Me”, came from a conversation with Hannah where she described her racing thoughts as cars. We pictured the scene – the different shapes, sizes, speeds and colours of vehicles – the people within them. We remembered the cartoon, “Wacky Races”. Humour was breaking into the heaviness. And then along came the Lollipop Man in the brightest and whitest hi-vis jacket, and the whole perspective changed – beautiful. A song was emerging in the midst of the struggle.
The Lollipop Man & Me
[chorus]
thoughts (thoughts) thoughts
thoughts (thoughts) thoughts
recognise, recognise
they’re just thoughts
just thoughts
accept and allow
float and feel
let time pass
and simply proceed
accept and allow
float and feel
let time pass
and simply proceed
Humour was the driving force for meeting the ‘voices’ that my wife struggles with in creating “Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire”. Calling them Nag and Scrag, or Silly and Billy, helped show them for what they are – fictitious – even when they’re trying to be vicious. The majority of the lyric comes direct from Hannah, as she meets the ‘voices’ with childlike innocence and humour – a beautiful creative journey to partner in.
Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire
[chorus]
voices, voices
in de verses
voices, voices
in de chorus
voices, voices
in de universe
swirling around us
(swirling around us)
“liar, liar, pants on fire!”
“liar, liar, pants on fire!”
if it’s getting too heavy
blow it a raspberry
if it takes de hissss
blow it a kiss
we’ll get through this
(we’ll get through this)
“Love Tapestry” is another track written in collaboration. Hannah asked me to help her reframe her life-story to draw out the beautiful things she has done, and continues to do. The sad part of the years of constantly repeating intrusive thoughts is that they try to distort and twist memories, leading to the person doubting what really happened, and potentially believing the lies. “Love Tapestry” redresses the balance and sings of the beautiful achievements of a beautiful life. It focuses in on what truly matters: the love and kindness of the loving and kind. I pray that this song encourages others to see their own lives in this way, weaving for good.
“Encourage” was born out of a single word of ‘courage’ during a conversation with my wife. And the lyric encourages her to see how she is such a beautiful pivotal part of my creativity. And the song longs to reach wider than that – that we all have the potential to bless and encourage each other in our creativity and lives.
Encourage
these songs are as much
yours
as mine
mind’s entwined
birthed from your single word
of courage…
The final anthemic track, “Stars”, looks to bring it all back to the central theme: cultivating and celebrating beautiful thoughts. Stars are such wonderful metaphors for beautiful thoughts and beacons of hope. When we turn down the busyness and distractions of the world’s crazy lights, we can see the beauty beyond. We are all stars. It is all ours. O mind, may you marry my beautiful thoughts…
Stars
[chorus]
when we turn down the world
and its lights
and open tonight
to beautiful thoughts
night time’s dawn chorus
starlit and glorious
northern light landscapes
seascapes and soundscapes
joining as one
beyond sands of time
starlit and glorious
(starlit and glorious)
I find that the deeper healing comes in the repeated listening of songs such as these. It also comes in only listening to, and reading, whatever is lovely. For me, that has meant coming away from all news, all sport, and social media news feeds. I long to dwell in “What-sow-ever” is loverly. And as I write about it, I listen to it back, which feeds more lovely thoughts, into a positive upward spiral. And like everything, it becomes habit – a lovely habit.
I pray that this album may bless you, as it has my wife and I, and continues to do so. I take great encouragement from the beautiful thought of everything working together for good – that our struggles can become blessings for others.
Be blessed. Be a blessing. Be beautiful thoughts…